My coworker told me that women wash their panties in the coffee maker and sometimes men pleasure themselves into it. Who knows if that’s true, but I’d rather err on the side of caution than have random chick crotch or baby batter in my mouth. I’m not in my twenties anymore.
Also, I cover the remote with the bag that comes in the ice bucket. A lot of lonely business men travel. And take advantage of that porn. They need that remote to access said porn. There seems to be a lot of undetected, free-flowing sperm in hotel rooms. And who wants that kind of sperm cocktail? Again, I’m not in my twenties anymore.