My PMS Denial, My Violent PMS and the Seed Protocol

It happens every month. When I start blubbering at the “Chimpanzee” documentary preview (damn you, Disney!) or start looking at CAH‘s Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup like I am a lion and it is the naive gazelle, grazing in a meadow. And each month, I ask myself, “What is wrong with me? Why am I so emotional? Why do want to unhinge my jaw and attack chocolate candies?” as if I don’t know.

Why does it seem like when my PMS symptoms start, it feels like I JUST ended my period? To make matters worse, I don’t have regular old PMS, I have PMDD. PMS’s bigger, older and meaner sister. I know I am in the throws of it when I want to simultaneously jump CAH’s bones AND punch him in the face. I think he’s recognized that stage of it as well, he seems to make himself scarce during that time. What a dichotomy it must be for the poor guy: get some hot sex, but risk an assault. I should call him “St. CAH” for putting up with me.

I recently went to a new naturopathic doctor and I love her! The approach of a naturopath, vs. a conventional doctor, is based in the belief that our bodies are able to heal themselves. We don’t need a “pill for every ill”, rather, we need to support our bodies in healing themselves through diet, excercise and healthy lifestyles. I am a firm believer in the fact that we over-medicate ourselves as a society (don’t even get me started on parents who feed their kids loads of crap, then wonder why they are having to stuff ritalin down their throats. I think what many parents allow their kids to consume on a regular basis is downright criminal. Ok, this is a long aside. Told you not to get me started). I think there is very little illness/disease in this world that the body cannot cure itself, if given the right support – cancer included!

My new naturopath, who I shall call Dr. Tinkerbell to protect her identity (HIPPA requirements), and because she kind of looks like Tinkerbell, has a sprightly energy and magic healing powers (ok, I might be embellishing that one a BIT). And also because I’ve lately become obsessed with the TV show, “Once Upon a Time”. Anyways (f*ck, PMS always has me so scatter-brained), one of the things I addressed with Dr. Tinkerbell is management of my PMDD. This is something about which I will write extensively in the future because I believe a lot of women with PMDD are misdiagnosed, mistreated and are not given all of the facts. Dr. Tinkerbell suggested something called the “seed protocol” to manage my PMS symptoms naturally. It goes as follows:

Dr. Tinkerbell’s Seed Protocol:

Days 1-14 of your cycle, sprinkle pumpkin seeds and flax seeds on a salad, or grind in a smoothie

These seeds promote estrogen, which will support this stage of your cycle.

Days 15-30 of your cycle, sprinkle sesame seeds and sunflower seeds on a salad, or grind in a smoothie.

These seeds promote progesterone, which will support this stage of your cycle.

And that is it! I have been doing about 2-3 Tablespoons of each.

Dr. T says that she has seen this help numerous women with issues related to their monthly cycles. She also says that cutting out the coffee will help my sore breasts during PMS. I am slowly weaning myself off of coffee and on to tea, but damn… hurts.


The box below is for thought ejaculation. Think safely.

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