Vagina Fun Facts From Florida Friday – How Do You Like These Papayas?

It is Friday! Which means it is time to close out the week with the weird and insane from Florida, but only as it pertains to Florida and vaginas!

Ladies, hold on to your melons. Fellas, hang on to your bananas, it is getting a little fruity in here today!

The melons are the only natural thing about this picture.

The melons are the only natural thing about this picture.

It seems a 49-year-old woman in Vero Beach, Florida, Suzanne Evlarina Wasden, became enraged when her ex-boyfriend showed up at her trailer, asking for birthday sex. Wasden, being a classy lady, was already piss drunk and, instead of bestowing the birthday coitus upon the hopeful ex-boyfriend, decided to instead go to the neighbor’s trailer and ask their 16-year-old son for a smoke and a beer.

Like I said, this broad was super classy.

Not “stainless steel straw in a Sutter Home mini-bottle” classy, but classy nonetheless.

Oh yeah, this happened. In my living room.

Oh yeah, this happened. In my living room.

Unfortunately, the trailer teen did not pony-up the booze and smokes and so Wasden reacted like any fucking classy woman would: she pulled down her pants and mooned the boy. And to really drive her point home, she began chucking papayas at both the teen, and her ex-boyfriend. With her pants down and her mango showing and everything.

Screen shot 2013-04-05 at 1.08.55 PM

The Vero Beach police did not find her fruity antics that classy, and booked her on charges of misdemeanor disorderly intoxication.

I hope this week has found you feeling as beautiful as a papaya: soft skin with an orange glow. Or as we girls in Northern California say, “Southern California Girls.”

Here is the roundup of some of my articles that you may have missed this week:

Why You’re Probably a Terrible Parent if You Have Me Babysit Your Kids

The Big Penis Article: How to Pamper Your Man’s Penis

5 Year Adoption Anniversary Part 1: Where Olive the Renegade Dog is Saved From a Hoarder and Promptly Thrown Into a Wall;With Thanks to the Marin and Southern Arizona Humane Societies

5 Year Adoption Anniversary Part 2: Where Olive the Renegade is Thrown Into a Wall and Also Gets Wet Food Wasted

And, in honor of the big morning-after pill federal ruling, here is a Wiseass Wife classic:

Ctrl + Z Morning After Pills: The Best Idea I Ever Had

Stay sunny!


The box below is for thought ejaculation. Think safely.

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