It is Friday! Which means it is time to close out the week with the weird and insane from Florida, but only as it pertains to Florida and vaginas!
Ladies, hold on to your melons. Fellas, hang on to your bananas, it is getting a little fruity in here today!
It seems a 49-year-old woman in Vero Beach, Florida, Suzanne Evlarina Wasden, became enraged when her ex-boyfriend showed up at her trailer, asking for birthday sex. Wasden, being a classy lady, was already piss drunk and, instead of bestowing the birthday coitus upon the hopeful ex-boyfriend, decided to instead go to the neighbor’s trailer and ask their 16-year-old son for a smoke and a beer.
Like I said, this broad was super classy.
Not “stainless steel straw in a Sutter Home mini-bottle” classy, but classy nonetheless.
Unfortunately, the trailer teen did not pony-up the booze and smokes and so Wasden reacted like any fucking classy woman would: she pulled down her pants and mooned the boy. And to really drive her point home, she began chucking papayas at both the teen, and her ex-boyfriend. With her pants down and her mango showing and everything.
The Vero Beach police did not find her fruity antics that classy, and booked her on charges of misdemeanor disorderly intoxication.
I hope this week has found you feeling as beautiful as a papaya: soft skin with an orange glow. Or as we girls in Northern California say, “Southern California Girls.”
Here is the roundup of some of my articles that you may have missed this week:
And, in honor of the big morning-after pill federal ruling, here is a Wiseass Wife classic: