I needed something super pretty for WINK Wednesday. I had to buy Clairol Root Touch-up for grey hair, which is pretty much the low point of my year so far. I don’t know why I associate Clairol root color with old ladies, but I totally do. So between buying this, and still not being sure what “twerking” is, I’m feeling about 60.
Unfortunately, I just started a new job after several months of unemployment, so I’m not quite ready to go back to the $200 dye jobs to which I’ve grown accustomed. But my grey hair does not seem to want to co-operate and still insists on poking it’s gleaming existence into my otherwise satisfactory head of hair. Luckily, I’m not yet at the point where a few months of root grow-out is offensive, but when I am brushing my teeth, I catch little glints of silver in the mirror and, for a split second, I think, “Check me out, my hair is glistening,” and then I’m like, “Sigh….it’s a fucking grey hair.”
And because I wasn’t sure which shade to get because, for once in 20 years, I’m back to my original hair color and it’s been so long since I’ve seen it, I’m totally lost in matching it. So I download the Clairol app which takes me through this whole slew of questions and, as if my self pride was not depleted enough, it asked that I take a picture of my root growth. So I did, outside of Walgreens.
Then when I got to the part that told me what color to get, NOTHING HAPPENED. It was stuck on that damn screen.
I sat outside of a Walgreens, taking pictures of my grey hair and root growth, wearing my Skydance Skydiving t-shirt, because skydiving was the last big risk I’ve taken before buying your product to hopefully match my roots. Then the app did not even work. Get your shit together.
So with pride hurt, and feeling old, there were only two things left to do: crank some Dolly Parton and make the prettiest wine drink that I can think of.
Dolly and wine make everything better.
So I decided to name my drink after her. There is already a Dolly Parton cocktail. Some rum concoction.
So I present to you, the Pink Dolly.