I have been neglecting updating this site horribly this week because we are still slaving away at our kitchen.
And by the way, if you are a woman who goes to a store in search of heavy chemicals, beware of being eyed suspiciously by the male employees you enlisted to help you.
Me: Hi, I need something strong to remove contact paper glue.
Store Guy: Oh, so like, Goo Gone.
Me: No, Goo Gone isn’t working. I need the heavy stuff. Like, whatever you have that has the most warnings on the bottle. Skulls and crossbones and fire warnings. I need that.
SG (eyeing me suspiciously): Have you tried rubbing alcohol?
Me: Yes, I’ve tried it all. Even elbow grease and a scouring pad, but since my husband isn’t around to really put some muscle into it, I need chemicals. I need something so strong, that I have to wear a mask and gloves to even open the container. It needs to be able to dissolve anything.
SG: I don’t know where your husband is or what you’re trying to do with these heavy chemicals, but we don’t sell that here. You’ll need to go to a hardware store.
By the way, it was baking soda and water that finally worked. Go figure.
So I am sadly derelichting my duties of recording my brain ejaculations while I finish this kitchen that seems like it is taking for-fucking-ever. But I don’t want this site to be stale and have you all thinking, “Where the hell did she go? Did she finally kill that bitchy neighbor down the street who says mean things to her dogs and she’s now on the lamb?”
No. But soon. Soon…..
Here’s a few of my classic Wiseass Wife’s in the meantime!