Forget Grilled Cheese Jesus, Behold Shower Penis

You will not believe what happened to me tonight. I was taking a shower and stuck some loose hair on the shower wall like girls tend to do, and when I was rinsing out my conditioner I glanced over and saw this:



It must be a phallic message from a powerful penile spirit.

I swear to penis this is exactly what I saw. For once, I can honestly say, I did not manipulate this penis in any way.

This is so much better than Jesus in a sandwich, or Elvis in a piece of wood, or Mary in a dog’s butt.

I was going to wash it away, but what if people want to come test its authenticity, or line up to take pictures with Shower Penis?

I was so excited that I dragged Calm-ass Husband out of bed to see it. He isn’t nearly as amused by it as I am.

I just wish I knew what it was trying to tell me. What does it mean???


As quickly as it came, Shower Penis went. By my shower this morning, all that remains is the tip. Just the tip.


Shower Penis stays around long enough to inspire, but not be taken for granted.


2 thoughts on “Forget Grilled Cheese Jesus, Behold Shower Penis

  1. The reason the Calm-ass Husband was not amused is that he is now afraid that you are not just seeing penises in unusual places but probably creating them.

    I doubt if someone will pay you even a penny for the tiles with the hair penis, but you could try eBay; people sell the weirdest shit there.

    • I swear to Shower Penis, I did not make it. I was going over how I usually swipe when I have hair on my hands, and I stick it on there and tend to swipe up and then being my hand down quickly in a downward motion to get the wet hair off. That being said, I’ll probably never be able to recreate that naturally again in my lifetime. And I would never sell Shower Penis, that would just insult it. That and, by my next shower, it was gone.

The box below is for thought ejaculation. Think safely.

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