Dollar Tree Haul: The Dollar Tree Makes Me Look Like I’m Doing Surprisingly Well

I had to go buy poop bags for the dogs today because CAH and I normally reuse plastic grocery bags, but since I’ve been ordering a lot of our groceries from local farms, we ran out. We then delayed doing anything about it for awhile, which left us resorting to using gallon-sized Ziploc bags we found around the house. It was actually pretty fancy, and I’m sure our garbage man is thinking, “Wow, they must be doing pretty well. Ziploc for the dog crap.”

We’ve got him fooled.

Since I also needed cat food and the pet food store is near the Dollar Tree, I decided to see if the Dollar Tree had any doggy poop bags because a) it would be awesome if I only had to pay $1 for a box of poop bags, and, b) I freaking love the Dollar Tree.

Dollar Tree did not disappoint.

First of all, it is like a poop-bag free-for-all. They didn’t just have boxes of poop bags, they had the fancy bag dispensers that attach to the leash, AND the refill bags.

Poop bags as far as the eye can see

Poop bags as far as the eye can see

Here is one thing that puzzled me, though:

This is AMERICA - land of excess! Of course we're going for the 4-count!

This is AMERICA – land of excess! Of course we’re going for the 4-count!

WHO is buying the 2-count pack when you can buy a 4-count pack for the same price? WHO??

So I majorly stocked up on poop bags. Like, my dogs can shit all day, every day, and I won’t even care. I am ready to just stuff them full of pumpkin and let them shit their brains out, because I am drunk with poop bags. Violet even gets pink poop bags – extra fancy.

Poop bag stockpile

Poop bag stockpile

I also majorly scored on toothpaste. I’m not talking, like, mini tubes of Crest, or big tubes of Kolgate. I’m talking fancy Aquafresh Extreme Clean – in a metal pump tube and everything. It even has micro-active foaming action. I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds super fancy. I bought FIVE bottles! Like, we are seriously stocked on toothpaste. I feel like such a grown-up.

Toothpaste time at the Rockefeller house

Toothpaste time at the Rockefeller house

I can see guests coming over and marveling at our stockpile of toothpaste:

Guest A: Did you see how much toothpaste they have? Like, multiple bottles. Metal bottles. It even has micro-active foaming action.
Guest B: Whoa, are you serious? I didn’t know they were doing that well.
Guest A: Uh yeah, didn’t you notice them using Ziploc bags to pick up their dog shit?

But the toothpaste wasn’t even my Dollar Tree triumph. My triumph came when I was walking by the electronics section and saw the stack of Blu-Ray Discs. Right there, on top, was “Straight Talk” with DOLLY FREAKING PARTON!

A dollar for Dolly

A dollar for Dolly

At first I was a little insulted that Dolly would find herself in a Dollar Tree bin and got all Patrick Swayze, “No one puts Dolly in the dollar bin.” But then I realized that Dolly would want the people to enjoy her work, no matter what their economic standing. That’s why we love Dolly – her big heart.

This is easily my most gleeful Dollar Tree trip in a long time.

Shit, I forgot to buy cat food.