Vagina Fun Facts From Florida Friday – Hallelujah! He Found the G Spot!

It’s that day again! Friday – which means another installment of the insane news from Florida, as it pertains to vaginas!

I’m not really sure how to react when a man proclaims he’s found the G-spot. I mean, he’s standing there, beaming with pride, like some kind of vagina Magellan. Do you pat him on the head? Give him a treat?

rewarding employees-resized-600

Well a surgeon from Florida, Dr. Adam Ostrzenski, is the next man in line for a head pat because he claims to have discovered the exact location of the “elusive G-Spot.”

Can we PLEASE stop treating vaginas like the Bermuda Triangle? For a relatively small space, people act like it’s a mystical cavern full of fairies and never-before-seen islands still waiting to be discovered. Check your vaginas, ladies, Jimmy Hoffa may just be hiding up there!

bermudatri-1

Dr. O claims that, unlike the current line of thinking that states that the G-Spot is an extension of the clitoris, the G-Spot is its own structure that angles away from the urethra. His finding would definitely fly in the face of experts who say that the G-Spot is an urban myth.

Of course these experts, desperate to make their urban myth stick so that they don’t have to admit that they’re terrible lovers, dispute the study, saying that Dr. O’s findings have too many problems rendering his research invalid.

For starters, this cadaver was 83, so at least 30 years past menopause. Secondly, since she was a cadaver, experts say that there is no way to know exactly what physiological function the ropy tissue he found actually had.

Sigh….they spend millions on researching and developing boner pills, but still can’t even agree on what is going on inside our hoo-has.

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Friday Wrap-up!

Exciting news, I will be starting a weekly sex column for the Kanoodled.com blog! I will anounce the first article once it is out!

If you are interested in animal welfare issues, check me out on HuffPostLive, discussing an animal’s right to life

And here are some articles you may have missed this week:

Do You Suffer From LOSER Syndrome? Stoners Probably Shouldn’t Read This

And That is What Happens When You Rob an Animal Lover at Gun Point in Front of a Dog: and Why Vallejo California Needs to Go Away

He Never Even Gave Me Directions to the Champs-Élysées

WINK Wednesday – Orange Julius Wine Slushie

And here’s a Wiseass Wife classic:

Please Just Fucking Pee, a Poem to My Dog

Stay Sunny!

Vagina Fun Facts From Florida Friday – How Do You Like These Papayas?

It is Friday! Which means it is time to close out the week with the weird and insane from Florida, but only as it pertains to Florida and vaginas!

Ladies, hold on to your melons. Fellas, hang on to your bananas, it is getting a little fruity in here today!

The melons are the only natural thing about this picture.

The melons are the only natural thing about this picture.

It seems a 49-year-old woman in Vero Beach, Florida, Suzanne Evlarina Wasden, became enraged when her ex-boyfriend showed up at her trailer, asking for birthday sex. Wasden, being a classy lady, was already piss drunk and, instead of bestowing the birthday coitus upon the hopeful ex-boyfriend, decided to instead go to the neighbor’s trailer and ask their 16-year-old son for a smoke and a beer.

Like I said, this broad was super classy.

Not “stainless steel straw in a Sutter Home mini-bottle” classy, but classy nonetheless.

Oh yeah, this happened. In my living room.

Oh yeah, this happened. In my living room.

Unfortunately, the trailer teen did not pony-up the booze and smokes and so Wasden reacted like any fucking classy woman would: she pulled down her pants and mooned the boy. And to really drive her point home, she began chucking papayas at both the teen, and her ex-boyfriend. With her pants down and her mango showing and everything.

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The Vero Beach police did not find her fruity antics that classy, and booked her on charges of misdemeanor disorderly intoxication.

I hope this week has found you feeling as beautiful as a papaya: soft skin with an orange glow. Or as we girls in Northern California say, “Southern California Girls.”

Here is the roundup of some of my articles that you may have missed this week:

Why You’re Probably a Terrible Parent if You Have Me Babysit Your Kids

The Big Penis Article: How to Pamper Your Man’s Penis

5 Year Adoption Anniversary Part 1: Where Olive the Renegade Dog is Saved From a Hoarder and Promptly Thrown Into a Wall;With Thanks to the Marin and Southern Arizona Humane Societies

5 Year Adoption Anniversary Part 2: Where Olive the Renegade is Thrown Into a Wall and Also Gets Wet Food Wasted

And, in honor of the big morning-after pill federal ruling, here is a Wiseass Wife classic:

Ctrl + Z Morning After Pills: The Best Idea I Ever Had

Stay sunny!

Vagina Fun Facts From Florida Friday

It is that time once again! Where I close the week out with the strange and insane from Florida, but only as it pertains to vaginas.

Today’s Vagina Fun Fact From Florida was sent to me by a special gal who is as finely-tuned at fighting off pervy animal control officers with ninja-like style as I. This story frankly, could not be any more perfect for Vagina Fun Facts From Florida.

This doesn’t directly involve a vagina per se, but the perpetrator in this story has a vagina, and her name is just too perfect to not give a special mention.

It seems that police in Daytona Beach were sent out to the Sun and Surf motel to see about a domestic disturbance. When they got there, the disturbance turned out to be caused by one Miss Heather D. Beaver. Ms. Beaver, to you.

Angry Beaver

Angry Beaver

Turns out that the 21-year-old Ms. Beaver got a little jealous when she saw her boyfriend talking to another woman and decided to retaliate by pulling out a gun. But instead of shooting it, she just threw the bullets at him.

Worst villainess, ever.

Once the cops got there, Ms. Beaver barricaded herself in the room. As they tried to negotiate with her, the Beav began firing off rounds from her weapon while opening and closing the door and yelling.

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The cops fired back with four canisters of tear gas, right into her room. But she is one resilient little Beaver and that just made her angry. So she fired off more rounds at the cops. That resulted in 4 more canisters of tear gas, and the Beav surrendered.

Among the charges that the Beav is facing is Attempted Murder of a Law Enforcement Officer. Ouch.

Guys, I think they’re being a little hard on the Beaver.

I hope you all had a stupendously lovely week, here is the roundup of some of my articles that you may have missed this week:

And a bonus classic article:

Stay Sunny!

Vagina Fun Facts From Florida, And My Premier Article with The Impersonals

Today’s Vagina Fun Facts From Florida come with an exciting announcement:

My first article with TheImpersonals.com, 7 Simple Tips to Land a Husband Quickly , premiered today. Go check it out, share it, tweet it, Facebook it. I would be ever so grateful.

On to Vagina Fun Facts From Florida:

In 2010, Florida resident Megan Mariah Barnes was arrested for shaving her lady parts while driving to meet her boyfriend. She told police that she wanted to be ready for him. More specifically, she was arrested because her shaving while driving caused her to rear-end a truck. As if this story isn’t weird enough, her ex-husband was in the passenger seat, holding the wheel while she shaved her Lady Funville.

Now that is an amicable divorce!

Have a sunny day!

Introducing: Vagina Fun Facts From Florida

Calm-ass Husband and I noticed long ago that the strangest shit goes down in Florida. Like, if we hear something crazy on the news, we will shout “Florida!” before the announcer has a chance to say where it took place because, 9 times out 10, that shit went down in Florida.

Don’t believe me?

Let me prove it:

Ted Bundy
Casey Anthony
THE FUCKING FACE EATER

Still not convinced

Man Eating Sinkholes
Gun-toting Walmart Shoppers with Bad Tempers
Moms Who Leave Their Kids in the Car While They Drink in a Bar

THE FUCKING FACE EATER

This phenomenon is something we’ve been wanting to turn into a website or Tumblr page, and we’d called it “WTF – What the Florida?”. Turns out several other blogs and websites have a “WTF?” section of their website, and CAH and I are not the only ones who have noticed that Florida is a beacon for the strange and insane.

Recently I posted about sending pictures of random vaginas to CAH and a friend pointed out that, technically, I sent him pictures of vulvas, not vaginas. She is right, I did sent pictures of vulvas, but “vagina” is way more fun to say. But then she followed up to say that many women actually don’t know the difference.

I mentioned to her that Vagina Fun Facts would be a good series, and then mentioned that I’ve also been wanting to do a feature on the fucked up stuff that happens in Florida. Then my helpful cousin chimed in that it would be even better to do Vagina Fun Facts From Florida. Which I thought was an AMAZING idea!

Vagina Fun Facts From Florida (VFFFF) will feature facts, news, and events that will pertain to vaginas and Florida. The correlation doesn’t matter, just so long as they relate somehow to both.

And now, the premier Vagina Fun Fact From Florida:

Florida resident Jayme Nicole Poma was recently busted after cops found a bag of pot hidden in her vagina. They had her squat and cough and a bag of cocaine flew out. **

Lana Del Rey – your pussy may take like Pepsi Cola, but you’re not shit until it tastes like cocaine.

**Bonus VFFFF: If you cough while squatting, things will fly out of your vagina.

Have a sunny day!